It has been a tough few months, is to say the least. If it was not for my confidante, my soulmate, my twin flame , the love of my life—Scott “Sookybear” Genghis Wong—I don’t know where I would be.
Let me start at the beginning. It was around 6 months ago, I started to feel unwell. My periods, were all over the place. Mood swings, weight gain, lack of energy, lots of other outer stresses—which took place!
I was at the point of despair! The one and only true constant, was and is my “twin flame” soulmate, Sookybear. Sookybear and I have weathered storms for many a millennia (we were husband ad wife in past lives), this storm has turned out to be the toughest so far!
You see I went to my doctor, who told me “Oh yes, women of a certain age get these issues.” That was basically it. I went away feeling very confused, very concerned , also with no REAL answers.
Well I did not listen to the first doctor (who was a female, and seemed like she was brushing me off with quick answers) and went back to see if I could have some blood tests, or something .. just to put my mind at rest.
The following day I went to my surgery (“surgery” is another way of saying clinic in England), to give some blood. I had to request these blood tests. Bear in mind I’m not a doctor, yet I know my own body! I asked for a full hormonal check, and thyroid check.
The nurse took my bloods for analysis. One week later, my results were back. I saw a different Doctor this time, a male. He was great. He asked me how I felt, told me that my bloods were fine, and all is okay. However, this only based on the blood results from the tests they did on me originally.
Although this doctor told me my hormones and thyroid were fine, he question me further, as I feel that he knew that I really was not fine. His probing made me panic, as he talked of vaginal scans, and other ominous testing.
So I booked myself in for a private consultation with a gynecologist, trusting the better care that might be available, outside the NHS system (the socialized medicine that is government provided in England). This private gynecologist performed a “full internal”, a full examination of my inner parts. I know, not for the very lady like, but totally necessary.
On completing the examination, two polyps , were found, one being (alarmingly) irregularly shaped! This did NOT sound good! A biopsy of the irregularly shaped polyp was sent off for analysis, and the results returned in 10 days’ time. That’s when I received a telephone call from the doctor, telling me the BAD news!
I had CANCER! Believe me, when you hear that word, you automatically feel totally alone! I felt terrified, and totally isolated, like I was going to die! The following week, was filled with blood tests, MRI scans, lots of phone calls, with the private gynecologist.
The hardest things was trying to tell my family and friends what was found. One of the people I was dreading telling, was my cousin, my best friend since childhood—the person who has been with me—through “thick and thin”—was my cousin Catherine.
Also my boys, I dreaded telling them , as they would worry so much.
The other was Sookybear, my constant companion every day for the past two years, my best friend and my “twin flame soulmate.”
The hardest part through all of this, was the “not knowing” the details, of my illness. The uncertainty was terrible, as was the waiting for definitive answers.
Where is it? How bad is it? Will I live? Will I die? It is such an awful , terrifying feeling!
The MRI scan , was very thorough, whilst laying there, all strapped in, made the diagnosis of Cancer, totally sink in. It became very real! Very frightening .
The day came for me to get the results of my MRI scan. This was a long scan, taking over an hour, using a contrast dye. This dye was injected into my veins, and then the MRI done, to see exactly what we are dealing with.
I went to my appointment with two very good friends, as my soulmate Sookybear, lives all the way over in the USA, and me in England. Sookybear desperately wanted to be there with me, holding my hand , and believe me, I needed him , more than ever! In all, my Sookybear, has gotten me through all of my turmoil, helped me emotionally, and in every way possible. Without his love, help, and support I would be a “quivering wreck!” And that is no joke! I would be.
Our love is totally unique, profound, and all encompassing. We fit like “a hand in a glove” or “Siamese twins!” Always, always, Sookybear and I have total honesty and pure, loving. We are so emotional. I will say this now:
“I love my Sookybear with all of my heart and soul!”
Since he came into my life, it had made me aware, made me grow emotionally, spiritually, and intellectually. We can gaze at each other for hours on end, just to see our “twin flame connection” reflected in our eyes, as we feel we can see into each other;s inner souls while eye-gazing. We can also deeply sense our former past lives as we do this.
It is something you cannot touch–what we sense and definitively know—or try to falsify the existence of. This “knowing” only exists in true “twin flame souls” relationships. We are truly reincarnated, as the couple we were in past lives.
We do always reincarnate together, always as soul group members, or “pod mates.” Bearing this in mind—as you can imagine—we are closer than close. We always on each others minds, totally in tune to the point of saying things at exactly the same moment, always the same thing too. The love we feel is intense, and totally unconditional.
So I will wind up this article by saying, my diagnosis, was “type 1″ endometrial cancer”—which is the earliest possible stage and curable with a hysterectomy.
I am waiting for the full hysterectomy and other possible treatments, this is hopefully all that will be needed.
I do know one thing that will always be needed , and that’s my Sookybear. Always and forever! I love you eternally. I want to thank you so very much, for all of your love, support, and care. I could not do this without you! Thank you with all of my heart.
12 12 12 always.
Here’s to the rest of forever!